Nine years ago today, as I lay in the ICU with a fractured pelvis, broken ribs and a broken back, fading in and out of morphine sleep, trying to smile and thank all the visitors the nurses so kindly allowed in every 15 minutes for making the long drive to Sioux City to see me I wondered “What is His plan? What am I supposed to do with this life?”
“The chances of her walking again are slim.” said the Doctor to my family, “she could go 1 of 2 ways; depression or she’ll take it and roll with it, you need to be prepared for both.”
Depression is not my style…
Fast forward two years, I’ve settled into this life, I’ve graduated college, I live independently, I’m running my tumbling gym, been on a few dates. My life is pretty much where I had planned I’m just a little shorter and get great parking. 😉
However, I couldn’t help but say to myself, “What am I supposed to really be doing? The Good Lord put me here for a reason and I just haven’t figured out why yet.” Then, thanks to my amazing Recreational Therapist, I am introduced to the wonderful world of public speaking and I fall in LOVE with it. After only one speaking engagement with her I’m sold, this is it, this is what I’m supposed to be doing with this life. Sharing my story with others in hopes of changing someone’s, if only one, decision to get into that car one night. I can share my story in a way that makes people laugh and feel comfortable all while making a solid point. I knew this was my purpose when I felt the same nervousness & excitement before speaking that I used to feel before a tumbling performance. Tumbling has always and will always be my life so if something makes me feel as good as tumbling does then this was His plan. Right?
Approximately six months later I’m reconnected with John Springhower “a guy I went to high school with.” (Thank you dad and Facebook), we go on a few dates this turns into two years which ends in a marriage proposal, two years of rehab and a walk down the aisle with my dad to my husband. 3,620,024 views later, a trip to Dr. Oz, articles in a few German Magazines & an unbelievable amount of kindness, prayers & love from family, friends and strangers I thought, maybe this is His plan? Maybe, all the emails and Facebook messages I’m getting saying I’ve helped them in some small way believe in themselves, maybe this is it. All I’ve every wanted to do was inspire and He knows that He put all the right people in my life at the right time to make this happen, this, on top of speaking, is what I’m supposed to be doing. I am sure of it! Right?
Fast forward seven months, a missed cycle and a positive pregnancy test. The “paralyzed bride” is expecting! She’s terrified, tired and dry heaving all the time! Pregnancy was not nice to me, I wasn’t sick or had any of the real issues of a “normal” pregnant woman, but the weight gain was something I was not prepared for making transfers and bathroom issues a big issue. However, on Dec. 22nd, 2015 that all disappeared faster than our OB could scream “IT’S A BOY!” He was the most beautiful thing I’d ever seen, my heart was taken over by this love that I never knew existed. At that point, holding our little boy skin to skin, with my husband right next to us, that is when I knew this is it, His Plan. LaKota is God’s plan for me. He picked me to be his mother, He picked us to be his family, He picked us to be something special. This has to be it. Right?
Fast forward to tonight, me driving home from tumbling with LaKota in the back seat who had just fallen asleep to “Rescuers Down Under” and me doing what I do every year on this day. Reflect on the past 9 years of my life and ask myself am I doing what I truly believe to be His Plan, am I doing whatever I feel is right and would make Him and my family proud? And tonight, for the first time in 9 years I thought to myself, ya know what Gina, stop thinking so much. Have you ever thought maybe His plan for you is to just live? Just live your life and take advantage of the doors He opens and keep rolling by the ones that don’t, stop wondering am I doing what I’m put here to do. I was put here to be the best mom, wife, daughter, sister and friend I can be and personally I feel overly blessed in all of those categories. Just live.
Live this life, His plan is for me to be happy. God, I am so incredibly happy, thank you for giving me this life.
God Bless You & may you just live.